Teams

Shiver My Timbers!

Garage Headquarters: Homer Glen, IL

Driver: TBD

Mechanics: Josh Bowser, Andy Finnigan, Nolan Libunao, Matt Offord, Schawn Spreadbury

Nuts and Bolts:

Team Cap’n Nolan Libunao casts a wary eye (his only eye) about his surroundings to make sure no one is listening, then growls confidentially, “Aye, landlubber, ye want to hear the tale of Team Shiver My Timbers?” Shifting his weight off his wooden leg and shooing the parrot from his shoulder, the rugged seafarer continues, “This chumbucket is manned by the scurviest crew of scallywags ever to climb a mast – all captains of industry who sold stakes in offshore investments. Following the stock market crash of 2008, these bilge rats had most of their plunder devalued by credit rating agencies. Their rocky backgrounds, however, qualified them as “troubled assets” by the U.S. Treasury, thus providing access to government bailout money. After giving themselves millions in salaries, bonuses, and other benefits – including titanium peg legs, jewel-encrusted eye patches, and an endless supply of top-shelf rum – they decided to form a Soapbox team.”

When told that he and his crew bear a remarkable resemblance to a non-pirate team from Illinois that competed in the 2007 Red Bull Soapbox Race in Providence and the 2008 contest in Cincinnati, Cap’n Libunao belays the talk, mumbling something ominous about “walking the plank” and “keelhauling.” Then he turns on his one remaining heel and calls for the pirate marauders – Josh Bowser, Andy Finnigan, Matt Offord, and Schawn Spreadbury – to hoist the mainsail. “The winds be fair for Atlanta,” he roars. “Full speed ahead!”